How To Get Over A Celebrity Crush

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It can be difficult to admit that you have a problem. If you have arrived on this page, then it is likely you are feeling the discomfort associated with obsessing over a celebrity. Perhaps you might be feeling ashamed or odd for being preoccupied with everything a certain celebrity does. Societies in general tend to worship celebrities. When that worshiping develops into thoughts and behaviors that negatively impact a person's life, action must be taken. Stopping or lessening the severity of your struggle can be easily attainable.

1
Examine who this person is by identifying the qualities that are appealing to you. It's time to sit down and make a list. You have connected with this person for some reason. Physical attraction is likely not the only reason you find yourself drawn to him or her.
- Many times we see qualities in celebrities that are not present in our own lives, but we wish they were.^[1] Perhaps they demonstrate kindness to everyone they see, and you feel most people in your life are not kind.
- You need to remember that celebrities are showing the world a persona – an ideal masked version – of themselves minus their more fundamental and true character traits. You don't usually see them having a bad day or a private moment. It may ruin the image / personal brand they have been working to build.^[2]
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Determine what impact your obsession is having on other relationships in your life. Obsessions are considered abnormal because they negatively impact a person's capacity to love and to be a productive member of society.^[3] Your mind can become so crowded with thoughts about a celebrity that you have little room for anything else.
- Are you isolating yourself instead of participating in events?
- Are you quick-tempered with family or friends when you hear that your obsession has done something that upsets you?
- Are you feeling depressed or anxious around others and escape to privacy in order to reconnect with the object of your obsession? These are common emotions for those with a celebrity obsession.^[4]
3
Analyze why you think you have this obsession. According to research, celebrity obsessions can serve two functions: companionship and personal identity.^[5] Do you feel lonely and in need of someone who understands you? Or, perhaps you like the way the celebrity handles himself or herself and you want to be like him or her.
- Clinical psychologists think of obsessions as fixations with an object, person or activity. Obsession in the psychological sense is defined as a continual thought, concept, picture or urge which is experienced as invasive and not proper, and results in significant fear, distress or discomfort.^[6]
4
Ask yourself, when you experience thoughts and feelings about this celebrity, are they anchored in reality? Do you imagine yourself hanging out with the celebrity; but truly believe it would happen? Do you pretend to know what they are thinking about a certain person or situation? Have you forgotten that you can't read people's minds?
- Have you had significant one-on-one meaningful interactions with this person that would allow a healthy relationship to develop? If you haven't, then you must come to terms with the fact that you have imagined the relationship to be something far exceeding an "ordinary" connection.
- Researcher and professor, Brian Spitz berg, at San Diego State University's School of Communication indicates that social media communications with celebrities via Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram can cause a fan to feel unique, as if the celebrity is speaking only to that person. This can leave you feeling confused.
- Relationships that are one-sided are considered to be para-social, meaning one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence.^[7] Celebrity obsessions most always fall into this category.
5
Establish how obsessing over this person is helping you meet your needs. We all have emotional needs that we want and need to have met: the need to be loved; the need to belong; the need for safety are just a few. Are you satisfied by your obsession to the point that you forego opportunities to find satisfaction in authentic human interactions?
- Introspection is the process of directly attempting to access your own internal processes.^[8] When you figure out how and why you react to the people and things around you, you will be able to help yourself solve many personal struggles. Only you can do the work that it takes to find the answers to these questions. Analysis can be difficult, but it can put you on a clear path toward change.

1
Identify the level of your obsession. If you've been honest with yourself to this point, then you can probably determine the degree to which you are obsessed. It is beneficial to know in which category you would place yourself. The more aware you are of your own behaviors, the more likely it is that you are ready to make a change in your thoughts and interpretations. ^[9]
- Research studies have identified three independent dimensions of celebrity worship. Of these three, where would you place yourself?:
- A. Entertainment-social: relates to attitudes where individuals are attracted to a celebrity because of their perceived ability to entertain and to become a social focus of conversation with like-minded others.
- B. Intense-personal: relates to individuals that have intensive and compulsive feelings about a celebrity.
- C. Borderline pathological: relates to individuals who display uncontrollable behaviors and fantasies relating to a celebrity.^[10]
2

Seek professional help to identify the behaviors you would like to change if you are struggling to do it yourself. Psychologists and psychiatrists are available in your local area and can be located through the American Psychological Association^[11] and the American Psychiatric Association.^[12]
3

Sign a behavioral contract and have a family member or friend witness it. This contract will allow you to spell out your goals and time frames. Signing the document symbolizes your commitment to making a change and releasing yourself from your celebrity obsession.^[13]
4
Expand your interests. Life becomes unbalanced at times. If you are getting too much of one thing, then it is likely you are limiting yourself to possibilities. If you spend the majority of your day, week, or month obsessing over a celebrity, you are missing a lot of potentially worthwhile experiences.^[14]
- In the days of worldwide education available 24/7, you could explore a new subject every day of the year and never run out of material, and never run out of things to do or people to meet.
- Identify three activities you would like to learn more about or participate in. You won't know if you like something unless you try. These will provide healthy distractions and will help you build new and meaningful relationships with others.
- Inform family members and friends that you are trying to find new things to do to learn more about the world. If you are comfortable with telling them about trying to stop your obsession, then do. People may give you suggestions that you haven't thought of.

1
Calculate how many hours you spend on-line. Many people spend a significant amount of time in the virtual world of computers and in the social media space focused solely on a celebrity. This can make it difficult to develop a set of healthy social skills to participate in real social interaction.
- Studies have shown that people who learn social skills experience positive effects in social-emotional development and behavior.
2
Determine if you need to stop all activities associated with the focus of your obsession. Some people work best abruptly stopping all activities, (cold turkey) and others need to gradually reduce their exposure. Whichever you decide, you will need to have a strategy in place to increase your chances of achieving your goal.
- A study in the British Journal of Health Psychology found that people who state their intention about achieving their goal far exceed control groups who do not.^[15]
- Pick a day to start. Giving yourself a deadline will help you focus your efforts.
- Make sure you have supportive family and friends in place.
- Get rid of the items that remind you of your obsession. This may involve boxing items and giving them away, or storing them in an attic or garage. This will help you ceremoniously condense and "put away" your thoughts and feelings and set you on a new path. In this way, you are also removing potential triggers.
- If you slip up and find yourself back in the thick of the obsession, make some adjustments in the areas that were difficult and start again. You are allowed.
3

Limit yourself to a reasonable amount of time to keep up to date with the celebrity's accomplishments (example: 30 minutes per month).With Americans consuming an average of approximately fifteen and a half hours per person per day of both traditional and digital media, you will likely experience some surprise coverage. Just roll with it.
4

Meet new people by joining groups, volunteering, or working. It is possible for you to find people who will meet your needs that are willing and able to form real relationships with you. There are hundreds of opportunities to help others, and everyone knows you feel good when you do. If you want to cope better with the stress of trying to make personal change, then serve others.^[16]
5
Create a balance between time spent in human-to-human, face-to-face social situation, and on-line situations. Life is meant to be fully experienced. Limiting yourself to only the on-line world won't allow you to build the authentic life you desire and deserve.^[17]
- In all probability you will create and enjoy your incredible life without the help of a celebrity. They are probably too busy, and so are you.

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Question

Why am I obsessed with a famous person?

Dr. Kateri Berasi is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Brooklyn, New York. With over ten years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in working with adults from the LGBTQIA+ community and creative industries through individual therapy, couples counseling, group therapy, and costume therapy. She holds a BA in Psychology, Art History, and French Language and Literature from George Washington University and an MA and MEd in Mental Health Counseling from Columbia University. Dr. Berasi also holds a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

We often obsess about celebrities because they seem "perfect," when really they're just other people like us, trying to live their lives and do their best to be happy.
Question

Is it bad to be obsessed with a celebrity?

Dr. Kateri Berasi is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Brooklyn, New York. With over ten years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in working with adults from the LGBTQIA+ community and creative industries through individual therapy, couples counseling, group therapy, and costume therapy. She holds a BA in Psychology, Art History, and French Language and Literature from George Washington University and an MA and MEd in Mental Health Counseling from Columbia University. Dr. Berasi also holds a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

It is only bad if you're not active in your life in pursuing your own dreams and ambitions. Remember to focus on yourself first! Think about what are the qualities in the celebrity that you admire and then try to embody them in yourself!

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You can still be a fan of the celebrity without being obsessed.
Be brave when it comes to new situations and meeting new people. You can do it.
It can take time to develop new behaviors, so be patient.
Gaining knowledge about human behavior can help you in many ways.
Be comfortable with telling someone "no" about participating in activities that might undermine the work that you are doing to improve your life.
Focus on other aspects of your life, ones that especially makes you happy so that you stay occupied most of the time.

Be aware of your behaviors and know that violent obsessions can develop. You must contact someone (family, friends, 911) who can help at the first sign of violence aimed at a celebrity or others.

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Article SummaryX

A celebrity obsession you can't shake can feel really overwhelming. Fortunately, there are things you can do to get over an obsession, like distracting yourself or getting rid of items that remind you of them. For example, join a club at school or spend more time with family and friends. If spending time online is fueling your obsession, take a break from your computer. You should also delete any social media apps on your phone so you aren't tempted to follow their every move. Additionally, you may need to get rid of physical objects that remind you of your obsession, like magazines, posters, or CDs. If you're still struggling to get over your obsession, talk to your doctor, since therapy can be really helpful for making behavioral changes. To learn how to talk to family and friends about your celebrity obsession, read more from our co-author.

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